The Only Diet Tip You’ll Ever Need
What to do in the sea of dietary advice
If you want to lose weight, there are a lot of tough choices. You’re meant to eat breakfast, get plenty of fat, make sure you never eat processed food, miss at least one meal a day (ideally breakfast), cut out carbs entirely, only eat pre-made meals labeled ‘diet’, and, of course, eat exactly what our ancestors ate — except not really because none of those foods exist any more. Just eat like our ancestors did.
You should listen to experts, because they know what they’re talking about, but also remember that the Youtuber with an impossibly beautiful life and a six pack knows more about dieting than anyone. Start eating only meat, and remember that if you fail it’s all your fault because meat is the perfect food.
It’s always all your fault*. That’s what makes dieting fun!
If you’re feeling lost in a stadium filled with unnaturally pristine people screaming diet tips at you — “vegans are the healthiest people on earth!” — you’ve probably looked for diet advice on the internet.
It’s not an easy place to be.
