Generally speaking, all of the associations you mention disappear when, as with this study, the researchers control for things such as socio-economic status and obesity.

The fantastic Scibabe has written a very lengthy refutation of all the points you’ve mentioned above, which is far better than I could do and I recommend you read https://theoutline.com/post/842/diet-coke-is-not-killing-you just replace “diet coke” with “all diet drinks” because the research is largely the same across diet drinks.

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