Coffee Enemas Are Terrible For Your Health

Why you should never do a coffee enema

Gideon M-K; Health Nerd

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Pictured: For the mouth, not the butt. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Coffee enemas are one of the strangest health fads of the last century. The idea of taking one of the best things humans have created, the delicious nectar of joy that is coffee, and squirting it up your butt is just a bizarre and unusual thing for humans to have come up with.

Nevertheless, there are increasingly people advertising coffee enemas as a treatment for every health condition imaginable. A quick search online shows people claiming that the introduction of some Joe into your rear end can help with everything from liver disease to chronic pain. If even half of these websites were right, coffee enemas would be one of the most impressive medical treatments ever devised.

Pictured: It gives a whole new meaning to “dark roast”. Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

Thankfully, there’s no need to ever put coffee in your anus. Coffee enemas are at best completely worthless for your health, and can be actively dangerous. Best to put the coffee in your mouth.

The Claim

The idea behind coffee enemas comes from a type of pseudoscientific medical treatment known as Gerson therapy. This is a schema of cancer treatment that was invented whole cloth by a man called Max Gerson in the mid-20th century. It basically involves extreme juicing and regular coffee enemas, which supposedly cleanse the body of toxins which can cure any ailment.

Of course, there has never been a shred of evidence that this treatment works. As with many complementary and alternative treatments for cancer, the main arguments are vague and nonspecific. For example, Gerson therapy is intended to remove ‘toxins’, but there are no actual toxic substances named as the target, which makes the entire premise largely nonsensical. The best evidence we have shows that people who opt for such alternative treatments for cancer die significantly more quickly and more often than people who use conventional medical interventions like surgery and chemo.

And from this pseudoscientific nonsense, the idea that coffee enemas could help with your body’s various issues was born. At this point, we have hundreds of…

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